Guys are excited to hook up with me — until they see my bunkbed (2025)

Welcome toHow I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into thesex lifeof a stranger.

This week we hear from 26-year-old Caroline*, a straight writer who lives in Camden, and has been single for more than three years. She’s now actively looking for a relationship after a few brief flings, and she’s turned to dating apps.

‘I can’t deny that every time I go on a date, I look in the mirror and think to myself, this could be the one where I tell the grandkids: “It was his Hinge prompt that did it for me”,’ Caroline says.

She goes on multiple dates a week and says, while it’s easy to feel down if they don’t work out, when they do go well, they usually end up back at hers. It’s here Caroline surprises her dates with her sleeping arrangements – a bunk bed.

‘It’s a fascinating test of character for my dates,’ she says. ‘They can often seem disappointed or a bit flummoxed by having make an effort to climb into bed. Green-flag guys get excited when they see it and I’ve had some wacky sex up there, but there are a few who are peeved off by it.’

The bunk bed is part of her grandparent’s old flat where she lives and it’s been a fixture of the home since the 1980s. It’s an effective way of weeding out potential suitors too and Caroline certainly won’t be getting rid of it.

Without further ado, here’s how Caroline got on this week…

The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.

Monday

The only thing getting me through today is the hinge date I have tonight.

The funny thing about having a bunk bed is the look on a guy’s face when they come across it for the first time.

I like it because it has an air of adventure, going at it high above the ground, and I don’t have to worry about waking up my neighbours in the flat below me.

The worst part is having to watch my date climb up to the top bunk, cautiously going up step-by-step with little of the bravado they had minutes before.

I meet Ben* at a bar and we end up on a pub crawl along the road back to mine. The conversation is stilted at the start, but he’s charming and very intellectual. The more alcohol we have, the more we’re attracted to each other, and soon we’re back at mine and all over each other.

We get to my room and Ben eyes the bunk bed with trepidation but to his credit he clambers up. I get on top of him in the wrap around position – like cowgirl but sitting up. I love it because it’s so intimate and feels the best for me.

We climax together before falling asleep.

Tuesday

Ben leaves rather swiftly this morning and I can’t help but worry that the bunk bed put him off. The after-intercourse conversation was also sub par.

I think he originally found the idea of sleeping with someone on a bunk bed at 22 playfully naughty, but in reality he seemed rather unsettled.

He let out a loud ‘harrumph’ when I explained to him he had to charge his phone on the bottom bunk, and then seemed even more agitated when his boxers fell on the floor and he had to go down the steps in the cold to retrieve them.

Thankfully, I have a second date tonight with someone who left me hanging after a wild kiss at a tube stop.

I meet Dan* in Soho in an underground bar and order some food. Dan is very confident which I find extremely attractive. We just about make it home without succumbing to our desires in the street and make our way up to my room.

There’s no worry etched across Dan’s face when he sees the bunk bed for the first time. He actually takes it as more of a challenge. When you have an actual hunk in the bunk with you, life can feel pretty good.

The sex is adventurous and we temporarily drop down from the bunk bed and end up doing it in front of the sink.

We do doggy but standing up as he stands behind me. I don’t feel particularly aroused when I see my reflection in the mirror, though.

Wednesday

I’m slightly turned off when I come across the used condom on my upper bedside table this morning. I think it always says so much about a guy when they actually make an effort after sex.

Still, I’m working today, and frequently check my phone to see if Dan’s messaged. He pops up on my phone an appropriate amount of time later, saying he enjoyed the night and the bunk bed made for great entertainment.

I smile and in the evening I get an early night, ready for my friend’s party tomorrow.

Thursday

I’m on the tube to my friend’s birthday and messaging someone who I went on a first date with a few months back. We’ve never slept together, and the wanting is what fuels our communication. We’ve just never gotten around to a second date.

At my friend’s party I forget all about him, after meeting a handsome banker, Liam*, who takes me on a pub crawl after the party ends.

He’s dangerously tall with a big ego and oozes confidence, and as the night ends he invites me back to his place in Chelsea.

It’s an upgrade from my bunk bed, where I do tend to hit my head on the ceiling if I’m on top, but the sex isn’t quite what I was expecting. Our bodies are slightly off because of his height and we can’t get the right rhythm.

But it goes from awkward and clunky to satisfying when I get on top of him and do my thing before we both climax together.

Friday

I’m ready to accept last night as a fleeting drunken escapade, but when Liam insists on walking to work together the next day (thankfully I wasn’t wearing anything too outlandish to be deemed a hangover risk in the office), I start mulling over the possibility it could be something more.

People talk about the levels of intimacy that are unlocked after dating their partners for a few months, but I feel like these depths of passion were ignited in just one night fuelled by too much cheap Aperol.

I’ve never felt so turned on by someone as he worked to pleasure me and make me feel just as satisfied as he did. I’ve sworn off fake climaxing in the name of feminism, but acting wasn’t necessary last night.

I’d felt so astonishingly at one with him, floating out of my body and seeing us intertwined.I’m now already imagining his response when he (hopefully) comes to mine and sees the bunk bed.

Saturday

I’m meant to have a date tonight but hastily cancel on them after Liam asks to meet at a pub near my flat this evening.

I’m weirdly nervous before, a feeling which I haven’t grappled with for ages. I question what we’ll talk about, but after seeing him and remembering just how strikingly handsome he is, my worries soon disperse.

We order drink after drink and he tells me he loves techno and 18th century art, but on the way back to mine I have a strange feeling he said he hates heights.

At first glance, he immediately exclaims: ‘Why the HELL do you have a bunk bed, if you think I am going up there you can think again.’

He tells me his parents deprived him of a bunk bed until one summer, on a trip to a holiday camp, he fell off of one onto the floor. Reluctantly, I agree to squeeze into the single bottom bunk with him instead.

We get in on, doing missionary and spooning, as well as my wrap-around favourite and I’m incredibly satisfied by the time we fall asleep.

Sunday

Liam stays at mine for a while this morning while we cuddle on the bottom bunk before he heads home.

He texts me a study related to bunk bed injuries in America, and suggests drinks after work next week.

I don’t usually sleep with three guys in one week, my average is more like once every two weeks, but lately my libido has been pretty high – for what reason I don’t know. I was really enjoying dating this week and I’m so glad I just went with it.

Liam and I seem to really click and I actually think I can see a future with him – maybe he’s really The One. He’s smart, funny, driven and, of course, majorly handsome too.

He’s the first guy in a long time I’ve felt this way about – maybe this one could be a keeper?

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

MORE: Fake names and runaway brides — my secret life as a professional bridesmaid

MORE: I couldn’t wait for our cinema first date – then porn started playing

MORE: ‘I stepped on board the Titanic and saw a different side to the sinking’