Ep. 13 | What is Sleep Training? (2024)

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Sleep training, a term that often evokes strong emotions among new parents, can be the key to a good night's rest for both baby and parents. The method, however, doesn't have to be harsh or rigid. In fact, sleep training can be a gentle, nurturing process that helps your baby learn valuable sleep habits while maintaining the emotional and physical closeness that is so essential in the early months.

In this blog post, we’ll explore the concept of sleep training, also known as sleep teaching or sleep shaping. We’ll break down various methods and share practical tips to get your child on a healthy sleep routine.

The Essence of Sleep Training

Sleep training, often referred to by alternative terms like sleep teaching, sleep shaping, or sleep conditioning, essentially means the same thing: helping your baby learn to fall asleep independently. The ultimate goal is to ensure that your baby can transition between sleep cycles without needing your constant presence.

Sleep training isn’t about forcing your baby to sleep through the night without any wakings or feedings. Instead, it’s about recognizing and responding to your baby’s needs in a way that promotes restful sleep for both of you. For instance, when your baby wakes up at night, it's about understanding whether they need a feeding or just a quick cuddle before drifting back to sleep.

Common Misconceptions

One major misconception about sleep training is that it means letting your baby "cry it out." While one method, known as extinction, does involve allowing your baby to cry until they fall asleep, there are numerous other approaches that can be much gentler. Different methods work for different babies and families, and it's essential to choose one that aligns with your parenting style and your baby's temperament.

Using a balanced approach, such as the Cozy Baby Sleep Method, can mean integrating various techniques to create a sleep routine that is both effective and compassionate. Sleep training does not mean the end of bedtime cuddles but rather ensuring that they are not the only way your baby can fall asleep.

Approaching Sleep Training

Sleep training typically becomes necessary as babies reach the 3-5 month mark. This period often coincides with the infamous 4-month sleep regression, where a baby’s sleep patterns change significantly. To mitigate this, I suggest a nuanced approach that involves tuning into your baby's needs while gradually encouraging them to develop independent sleep skills.

Setting the Environment

One foundational aspect of sleep training is creating an optimal sleep environment. This includes ensuring the room is dark, cool, and quiet. Blackout curtains, white noise machines, and adjusting room temperature can be crucial in this. Additionally, following a consistent bedtime routine helps signal to your baby that it's time for sleep.

Different Methods of Sleep Training

There are several methods to consider, each with its approach to helping babies sleep better:

  1. Extinction (Crying It Out): This involves putting your baby in their crib and leaving them to sleep independently, even if they cry. While effective for some, it’s not the preferred method for many parents.
  1. Gradual Fading: This method involves gradually increasing the time between comfort checks, helping your baby learn to soothe themselves over time.
  1. Check and Comfort (Ferber Method): Parents periodically check on their baby at increasing intervals to provide comfort without picking them up. It's a middle ground approach that provides reassurance while fostering independence.

Personalized Approach

My Cozy Baby Sleep Method blends elements from different approaches, tailored to fit your baby's unique needs and temperament. I advise against a one-size-fits-all mentality and emphasize that sleep training should be flexible and adaptive.

Daytime Contact Naps

Even when your baby is sleep trained, incorporating contact naps during the day can still be beneficial. This practice offers reassurance and bonding time, ensuring that both baby and parent maintain a loving, close relationship.

Sleep training is a personal decision that doesn’t have to be rigid or harsh. By understanding your baby’s sleep needs and choosing a method that aligns with your family’s values, you can create a restful environment that benefits everyone. Whether you opt for the Cozy Baby Sleep approach or a different method, the goal is to foster healthy sleep habits while maintaining a nurturing bond with your baby.

Resources:

  • Sleep Regression Mini Course
  • Newborn Sleep Course (0-3 months)
  • The Cozy Baby Sleep Course (4-24 months)
  • The Toddle Sleep Guide (2-4 years)
  • FREE Night Waking Guide
  • Cozy Baby Sleep Links
  • Free Sleep Help Resources
  • Sleep Research Citations

Connect with Alice:

WELCOME TO COZY LITTLE CONVOS

Have you ever stressed out over your baby or toddler's sleep? Are you tired of feeling like you are doing everything wrong?

Well you're in the right place. In this podcast you will not only learn tangible tips and tricks to help your little one sleep better, but also how to do it with balance and confidence in yourself as the parent.

Hi! I'm Alice, Mum of 2 and certified sleep consultant. My sleep philosophy revolves around safe, loving, and research based sleep techniques while also holding space for real life.

This is a zero judgment community of moms who want to get the best sleep for the whole family, in a way that makes them feel good!

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Ep. 13 | What is Sleep Training? (2024)

FAQs

What is the hardest night of sleep training? ›

Again, every baby is different, but from my own experience and the experiences of my friends, the 2nd or 3 rd night of sleep training are often the most challenging– meaning that babies cried more on those nights than any other night.

What is the hardest age to sleep train? ›

3-4 Months

By 3 to 4 months, infants are forming a nighttime sleep cycle. They're more sociable, don't usually suffer from separation anxiety, and start snoozing better. However, most 3- and 4-month-olds aren't developmentally ready to self-soothe, so sleep training may be difficult.

What does moms on call say about sleep training? ›

They provide a plan for stretching out feeding times in the middle of the night, which helps the baby learn to soothe themselves back to sleep (a valuable life skill) and does involve crying! But Moms on Call also helps you realize that crying is not always a bad thing! So yes, we do follow that method.

What age should you stop sleep training? ›

Babies can be developmentally ready to sleep train as early as 5 months, and sleep training can be appropriate from 5 months until your little one reaches 5 years. The best age for sleep training is when you decide it's right for your family.

What is the 5 3 3 rule for babies? ›

The 5 3 3 rule is a sleep training method that involves setting specific intervals for sleep. The method involves having the child sleep for 5 hours, followed by 3 hours of awake time, and then 3 hours of sleep again.

What is the hardest sleep cycle to wake up from? ›

These four sleep stages are called non-rapid eye movement (non-REM) sleep, and its most prominent feature is the slow-wave (stage IV) sleep. It is most difficult to awaken people from slow-wave sleep; hence it is considered to be the deepest stage of sleep.

At what age do babies fall asleep on their own without sleep training? ›

By the time they reach 3 to 4 months old, many babies can sleep for stretches of five to six hours at night.

Will babies learn to self-soothe without sleep training? ›

Some babies learn to self-soothe naturally as they get older. However, in other cases, parents or caregivers try to encourage the behavior through various techniques. Many approaches exist for encouraging babies to self-soothe, ranging from the extinction method, or “cry it out” (CIO), to more gradual approaches.

Are sleep trained babies happier? ›

Your baby figures out their preferred position for sleep, and how to get there on their own. As a result, the baby starts sleeping longer periods of time, and getting more sleep overall. Their confidence in their ability to sleep, and when to do so builds, and they are happy and content in their sleep environment.

What does Montessori say about sleep training? ›

Montessori does not require or encourage any specific sleep training method. There are several things parents can use as guidelines to help facilitate the process of getting a child to bed and help minimize the frustration that often comes with it.

Why are people against sleep training babies? ›

Reason #1: Babies and toddlers cannot self-soothe

When families choose to sleep train (either by physically separating or emotionally separating), as babies or toddlers get more and more worked up, their bodies erect defences to preserve energy and help them to fall asleep as a last mechanism of defence.

Should you pick up your baby during sleep training? ›

This is a habit you are trying to break with Pick Up, Put Down. Hold and reassure your baby just until they settle down or stop crying, but before they fall asleep. Then place them back in their crib drowsy, but awake, so they can fall asleep on their own. We recommend holding your baby only until they stop crying.

What is the most gentle sleep training method? ›

Pick-Up/Put-Down Method

This approach is a 'no-cry' baby sleep training method as it recommends that the parent picks up their baby from their sleep space immediately upon them starting to cry.

Is it OK to let baby cry when sleep training? ›

Rest assured that crying it out isn't harmful to your little one and won't do any damage. In time, your baby will be dozing off without any help! If your baby ever sounds in pain, then it's best to check-in.

Is the cry it out method emotionally damaging? ›

Babies express their needs through crying. Letting babies "cry it out" is a form of need-neglect that leads to many long-term effects. The "cry it out" method releases stress hormones, impairs self-regulation, and undermines trust.

What night does sleep training get easier? ›

In the beginning, you may end up having to let baby cry it out for 45 minutes to an hour before she goes to sleep, though it varies. Most parents who try the cry it out method find their babies cry increasingly less over the first three nights, and the tears stop somewhere between the fourth and seventh nights.

What is the hardest night to sleep? ›

Sunday is by far the cruelest night of the week for those who have trouble sleeping, according to a new study. “Saturday night is the loneliest night of the week, according to the old Frank Sinatra song”, says Alex Tew, co-founder of Calm. “But Sunday night turns out to be the most restless.”

Is night two of sleep training worse? ›

The crying may worsen after a night or two, in a behavioral phenomenon known as the “extinction burst.” At this point, many parents give up on sleep training but, if you can, hold on: Improvement is often rapid following the extinction burst.

Does sleep training get worse before better? ›

All the techniques will take time and effort to put into practice. Often the sleep may become worse before it improves as you are making changes.

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